If you’ve ever met me, chances are I’ve worked a “Simpsons” reference into the conversation. If you know me, chances are you’re sick of the number of “Simpsons” references I’ve worked into every conversation. No television show in history has had such a profound influence on my life. It both reflected and shaped my philosophy, my vocabulary, my humor, my sensibility. “The Simpsons” is my religion. (Well, seasons 1-9 anyway….)
But did you know that its most prolific writer (59 episodes!) started as an advertising copywriter? John Swartzwelder, a legend in the show’s history and a legendary recluse, recently gave an enthralling interview to “The New Yorker.” From that, I’ve culled five gems of Swartzwelder’s sage writing advice that can inform and improve your own advertising and marketing copywriting efforts.
So, it turns out my obsession with “The Simpsons” does have practical, real-world value to the writing process. In your face, high school journalism teacher!
(Aside: I once dropped one of Swartzwelder’s “Simpsons” jokes on said journalism teacher as a comeback in the middle of class, and she had to leave the room to compose herself, lest she unleash her completely justifiable fury on the smartass in the third row who was quite proud of himself for the well-timed delivery.)
Swartzwelder was responsible for many a classic “Simpsons” moment and was a key architect of the show’s Golden Age. As it turns out, he started his writing career in the advertising industry. He worked for many notable agencies in Chicago in the 1970s, including Hurvis, Binzer & Churchill, Van Brunt & Co., and Leo Burnett. Poring through this interview, I was amazed at how his experience in advertising and marketing copy informed his comedic ventures.
From that interview, here are five quotes form Swartzwelder with indispensable copywriting tips:
TIP #1 – SELL THINGS
“My first writing job was with Hurvis, Binzer & Churchill, which at the time was the hottest boutique advertising agency in Chicago. […] After I got there, I asked the writers next to me what we were supposed to be doing, and they said it had something to do with selling things. ‘Sounds good,’ I said.”
At the end of the day, that’s what you’re doing: “Something to do with selling things.” The rest can be learned. Whether you’re selling a product, an event, or even a feeling, if you approach any ad, any campaign, hell, any copy block or email with the idea of, “How am I selling this thing?” you’re already off to a good start.
TIP #2 – VARIETY, SPEED
“All ad copywriters are expected to write humor or scientific-sounding mumbo jumbo or any other kind of writing, whatever’s needed for the campaign. And they’re expected to write it fast, too, because it’s due tomorrow. Good training, actually.”
I’ve never much cared for the phrase, “Write what you know,” because a writer’s job, especially in marketing, is to write about a lot of different things. You can’t know about all of them up front. You’ve got to learn. You’ve got to invest yourself with each client. Sometimes it’s gift baskets. Sometimes it’s underpants. Sometimes it’s caskets. (I’ve been known to hit all three of those in one day.) Sometimes it’s writing about something highly technical. Other times it’s about finding joy or humor. You have to channel all those voices for whatever the client or campaign requires.
And you’ve got to write fast. Period.
TIP #3 – TRUST CREATIVES
“Fox executives couldn’t meddle in “The Simpsons” in any way. […] This is a very dangerous way to run a television show, leaving the artists in charge of the art, but it worked out all right in the end. It rained money on the Fox lot for thirty years. There’s a lesson in there somewhere.”
I won’t belabor this point – and it’s less a tip for copywriters than for those reviewing copy and design – but I will say that “The Simpsons” is a perfect example of what happens when you find creative people and let them do their thing.
TIP #4 – WRITE, REVISE, REPEAT
“But I do have a trick that makes things easier for me. Since writing is very hard and rewriting is comparatively easy and rather fun, I always write my scripts all the way through as fast as I can, the first day. […]So I’ve taken a very hard job, writing, and turned it into an easy one, rewriting, overnight.”
In any medium, a writer’s worst enemy is the blank page / screen. The unparalleled dread that consumes you staring at a flashing cursor makes me sweat even as I type this. But you can’t change what isn’t there. Get something on the page. It doesn’t to be perfect spilling out from your fingertips to the screen. “Perfection” is the enemy of “done.” But you have to start somewhere.
TIP #5 – ENGAGE
“Nobody wants to read a book. You’ve got to catch their eye with something exciting in the first paragraph, while they’re in the process of throwing the book away. If it’s exciting enough, they’ll stop and read it. Then you’ve got to put something even more exciting in the second paragraph, to suck them in further. And so on. It’s exhausting for everybody, but it’s got to be done.”
Keeping the reader engaged is always a challenge. From TV shows to novels, from catalogs to websites, how do we get readers to want to turn that page? Deteriorating attention spans make our jobs as writers that much more difficult. So make every word count. Don’t save the best till last. Hook reader from the start. Then use techniques to keep them engaged – calls to action, clever transitions, make them want to know more. The more you can engage readers with your first words, the better chance they’ll read through the last.
Swartzwelder’s interview with “The New Yorker,” which I and my fellow “Simpsons” devotees have studied and dissected like the Rosetta Stone, is a treasure trove of more comedic gems than many sitcoms can squeeze out of an entire season, along with a wealth of writing wisdom. You can read the full interview here:
https://www.newyorker.com/culture/the-new-yorker-interview/john-swartzwelder-sage-of-the-simpsons
